First impressions often shape how communication develops between two people. Knowing how to start an engaging conversation can help you get to know a girl better and make her feel comfortable with you. Here’s a list of thoughtful questions you can ask during a chat or on a date - plus psychologist-approved tips for easy, natural communication.
Questions to Start Getting to Know a Girl
We’ve gathered conversation topics that work in any format — text messages, calls, or face-to-face meetings. It doesn’t matter whether you talk in voice notes or send short videos — what matters is that you both feel at ease.
Light and Easy
The first conversation isn’t the time for deep or serious questions. Keep it relaxed and playful. Try asking:
- How was your day?
- Do you have any guilty pleasures when it comes to food?
- What TV show would you recommend right now?
Interests and Lifestyle
Ask about her hobbies and what she enjoys doing in her everyday life. For example, ask her:
- What do you like to do when you need to take a break?
- How do you recharge when you’re tired?
- What does your perfect evening look like?

Travel and Dreams
Positive topics are always a good idea - especially ones that spark emotions and curiosity. Even if it’s too early to plan a trip together, you can still show your adventurous side:
- If you could pack up and go anywhere right now, where would you go?
- Do you prefer planning trips or being spontaneous?
- What’s one trip you’ll never forget?
Deep and Personal
Chatting online gives you the chance to move beyond small talk. If you really want to get to know her, try asking deeper questions like:
- What qualities do you value most in people?
- What’s most important to you in a relationship?
- How do you know when someone is truly “your person”?
Questions for a First Date
You can talk about almost anything online, but in person, it’s important to be a little more thoughtful with your words. If you’re not sure what to ask on a first date, go for light, interesting topics that help the conversation flow naturally.
Starting the Conversation
In the beginning, keep it simple - the goal is to help both of you relax. Try questions like:
- How’s your day been?
- How do you usually relax after a tough week?
- What kind of work do you do?
Hobbies and Interests
A date doesn’t have to revolve around romance — shared interests are just as powerful. To find them, ask:
- What do you love doing in your free time?
- What brings you real joy?
- Do you prefer active adventures or quiet relaxation?

Books, Movies, and Music
Movies, books, and music are perfect topics for a first date - and if your tastes match, the connection will happen naturally. Ask things like:
- What movie or TV show have you watched more than once?
- Is there a book that made a big impression on you?
- What do you prefer: cinema, live theater, or a cozy night with Netflix?
Dreams and Travel
You don’t need to talk about long-term plans yet, but sharing dreams is always nice — it’s personal, yet easygoing. For example, ask her:
- Where have you always wanted to go?
- What place has left the biggest impression on you?
- Which country would you love to live in for a few months?
Tips for Talking to Girls
Confidence is attractive — but too much pressure can ruin the vibe. At the same time, keeping things too friendly might land you in the friend zone.
Here’s how to obtain the right balance:
- Be genuine: girls can sense insincerity quickly. Even small lies can create problems later on.
- Balance questions and stories: don’t turn the date into an interview - share something about yourself, too.
- Avoid cliches: humor and originality are what girls actually remember.
- Pay attention to her reactions: if she seems bored or uncomfortable, gently change the topic.
- Give compliments: everyone likes kind words - even if they pretend not to care.
Can’t Remember All the Questions?
Download the AskCloser app, which offers ready-made sets of questions for any situation. All topics are created with the help of professional psychologists, so you’ll easily find common ground with anyone.


